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[Sound of pounding drum; Dad waking up and not very amused; Cavegirl wakes up]
Cavegirl: (to herself) Who's making that racket?...Actually, it's not a racket, sounds a bit good [Cavegirl runs out of cave] Cavegirl: (to herself) It's Trunk. I knew it. He's been so wild and crazy lately Cavegirl: Hi Trunk...Wicked drumming Trunk: Practicing Dad: What do you think you're doing? Trunk: Drumming Dad: At this time. Do you think that's normal? [Dad grabs Trunk's hand to stop the drumming] Trunk: Well maybe I don't want to be normal Cavegirl: Good point Dad: What! Cavegirl: Nothing Dad: Listen son, some of us want to get some sleep...If you want to drum, do it away from the village...Got it?! Trunk: Whatever Cavegirl: (to herself) Mmmm, unbelievable. Who'd have thought Trunk would turn out to be so cool and mysterious...Look at him, he's beautiful. But he's not the only thing that's mysterious. I don't know what's wrong with me. Suddenly I've no appetite. I feel lethargic...and I keep sighing...and staring off into the distance Stiks: Cavegirl, what are you looking at? Cavegirl: (to herself) ...and saying weird stuff like Cavegirl: Emptiness...hmmm...vast endless emptiness Stiks: Cavegirl, are you OK? [In the home cave, Stiks talking to Big Sis] Stiks: ...just found her wandering about and sighing. I think she's got a serious problem. I brought her to you Big Sis: Hmmm, interesting...I'll see what I can do Big Sis: (to Cavegirl) Can I have a word? Cavegirl: Uh huh Big Sis: I hear you've been sighing Cavegirl: Heh, can't stop Big Sis: Loss of appetite, you're lethargic Cavegirl: How did you know that?...am I sick? Big Sis: Yep, love sick Cavegirl: Hmmm Stiks: Well? Big Sis: Staring, sighing, loss of appetite, she's lethargic, all the classic signs Big Sis: (to Cavegirl) So who's the unlucky guy? Cavegirl: (sighing) There is no guy?...although I have been thinking a lot about someone Stiks: Is it someone not very far away? Cavegirl: (sighing) No...It's Trunk Stiks: Trunk! Cavegirl: (to herself sighing) Play it cool Cavegirl. Don't tell him you love him...just say fancy [Stiks is sat by a pool, Roast is spear fishing] Stiks: I'm so gutted because Cavegirl chose Trunk over me Roast: Look, to be honest with you mate, you never really had a chance with Cavegirl Stiks: What? Roast: You're always...running around after her...girls don't like that...makes you look desperate Stiks: I am desperate Roast: Ye, but she doesn't need to know that. You know what you should do?...You should find yourself another girl Stiks: Really? Roast: Yeh, then Cavegirl will think you don't need her...and if she thinks you don't need her, she'll start needing you Stiks: I like it [Cavegirl walking with Trunk] Trunk: ...what? Cavegirl: Fancy you Trunk: You... Cavegirl: I...fancy...you Trunk: You fancy me...you fancy me! Cavegirl: It's good news, you're happy? Trunk: Yeah, I'm over the moon about it. I've always liked you. It's my hair isn't it? Cavegirl: No, it's 'cause you're wild and crazy, it's 'cause you're not afraid to live on the edge Trunk: Oh great, do you fancy a snog? Cavegirl: (embracing Trunk) Absolutely [Stiks is walking with Nettle] Nettle: You want me to go out with you tonight? Stiks: That's correct Nettle: Why? Stiks: Well for some time now I've had growing feelings for you Nettle: Ohh I get it, Cavegirl's going out with Trunk and you're trying to make her jealous by pretending to go out with me Stiks: That's amazing, how did you know that? Nettle: Girlie intuition Stiks: So what do you say? Nettle: No Stiks: I can't believe this. I can't even get a pretend date. I must be the biggest loser in the history of the world Nettle: Stiks...Look, you can say you're going out with me Stiks: Really?...Thanks Nettle Nettle: But you've got to tell everyone that I'm the best kisser ever Stiks: Deal [Back at home cave] Mum: Please tell me you're joking Cavegirl: I'm not...Me and Trunk are in love Mum: Are you out of your mind?...That boy is completely wild Cavegirl: Hmmm, I know Mum: Dad! Dad: I'm sorry Cavegirl...but I'm going to have to put my foot down...you...are never to see him again Cavegirl: What?...then you don't understand Mum: No, you don't understand. He's bad news. This is for your own good [Cavegirl moves away] Cavegirl: (to herself) Hoh, I love Trunk...I hate my mum and dad Dad: Cavegirl? Cavegirl: What? Dad: Me and your mother have been talking and...we think maybe we were a bit hasty Cavegirl: You do? Dad: Now we're not making any promises but...why don't you bring Trunk over for a meal and...it'll give us a better chance to look at him [Cavegirl hugs Dad] Cavegirl: Thanks Dad [Cavegirl walking with Trunk, Stiks hiding nearby] Cavegirl: ...and my Dad's interested in? Trunk: Er food, sleeping, and not getting wiped out by other tribes Cavegirl: And when my mum hands you the bowl? Trunk: Er, oh yeah, eat with my hands and er don't just lick Stiks: Hi Cavegirl, Trunk Cavegirl: Hi Stiks Stiks: Just on my way up to my girlfriend's cave. That's Nettle...she's my girlfriend...Oh, we are so nuts about each other Cavegirl: That's great, I'm really happy for you Stiks: You are? Cavegirl: Yeah. I always thought you'd end up sad and lonely...(to Trunk)...It's so great being in love isn't it? Trunk: Yeah, hmmm Stiks: I gotta go...excuse me Cavegirl: Now where were we?...Oh yeh...and if my mum asks you what you want to be when you're grown up, I think that you should say... Trunk: Cavegirl, wait...look why do I have to put on this big act. Why can't I just go in there and be me? Cavegirl: Are you out of your mind?...It's really important you make a good impression Trunk: Why? They can't stop us seeing each other Cavegirl: Look Trunk, this is the first time my parents have ever taken me seriously. They changed their minds to give me a chance and it's a really big deal. This has to go well. Trunk: Don't worry baby, I'll make you proud [Stiks is walking with Trunk] Stiks: I'm telling you, it's not working Roast: Have you told her about the you and Nettle thing? Stiks: Yeah, couldn't care less. She said she was happy for me Roast: Uh huh. You need to escalate Stiks: What do you mean? Roast: Well supposing Cavegirl was to see you and Nettle... Stiks: You mean like... Roast: Actually snogging. She'll realize what she's lost she'll throw herself at your feet and beg for forgiveness Stiks: At my feet eh [Mealtime at Cavegirl's cave] Cavegirl: You all know Trunk Trunk: Hello everyone, nice to see you again...(looking at Gran)...especially you. Thought you was dead Cavegirl: Trunk...killed a land serpent the other day...on his own Mum: Really? Trunk: Yeah I kept one of its bones for nose piercing Mum: Aw? Trunk: Yeah I want to put this through my nose. It's going to look so cool Cavegirl: Who's for soup? [Later, Dad takes Trunk aside] Dad: I just thought...it might be nice to have a kind of...man to man talk Trunk: Wh, what about? Dad: Well, I don't know, what are your plans for the summer? Trunk: Don't really like the seasons Dad: Er what do you like? Trunk: Well Cavegirl. I just want you to know I'd never pressurise her into getting her nose pierced...but it would look excellent though Dad: Right, that's it, I've heard enough...(drags Trunk off)...You're not piercing my daughter anywhere Mum: What's going on Dad: I'm throwing this delinquent out Mum: Hold on Dad Cavegirl: No you can't I love him Mum: Don't be daft Cavegirl: I do, I really love him...I love you Trunk Trunk: I love you too Cavegirl (they hug) Cavegirl: (to herself) Mum and Dad seeing the true depth of our feelings...had a change of heart...brilliant [Later, Mum carrying water with Cavegirl] Mum: You are just so lucky...to have met a boy like that...so in touch with his feminine side...so emotionally giving Cavegirl: Yeah Mum: I think he's going to be a really good influence on your father [Trunk arrives and takes Mum's gourds] Trunk: Let me take that for you er Mrs...Cavegirl? Mum: Just call me Mum Cavegirl: Ahh, looks like everything is going to work out...double brilliant Cavegirl: (to herself) Dad's decided Trunk's the big son he's never had. Everyone thinks he's so great. He's started to become one of the family...Problem. As time passes, Trunk seems to be more interested in my family than he is in me...New problem, everyone is starting to love Trunk...I think I'm starting to hate him Trunk: ...and then your mum hugged me...and, and said I was like a son to her, it was such a lovely moment Cavegirl: Yeah, whatever Trunk: It's just soooo nice the way your parents have made me one of the family Cavegirl: Uh huh Trunk: Never got any hugs off my mum. I think that's why I've got emotional scars. Maybe that's why I used to be so wild and crazy Cavegirl: Trunk...I think you're spending way too much time with my family Trunk: I know, I know, I think you're absolutely right Cavegirl: Really? Trunk: I think we should be spending more time with mine Cavegirl: What? Trunk: How are your table manners? Cavegirl: (to herself) Somehow I don't think this is going to work out [Stiks is walking with Nettle] Nettle: Snog you in front of Cavegirl? I don't think so Stiks: I knew you were going to say that. Well at least I tried Nettle: I'm sorry OK Stiks: No I know I know I should stop fooling myself. I should just accept I'm going to be on my own until I die Nettle: Oh come on Stiks Stiks: It's OK, I'll learn to manage somehow. I'll endure the terrible loneliness Nettle: Don't say that Stiks: The soul destroying isolation, the unbearable lightness of.. Nettle: OK, OK, I'll do it, but only for five seconds Stiks: Ten [Trunk is coaching Cavegirl on drink etiquette] Trunk: No no no you're doing it again. How many more times? The little finger...should be pointing...at the sky Cavegirl: Do we have to do all this? Trunk: Definitely. Look, my dad's a table manners freak, and he says that good table manners are the cornerstone of civilization. Now, let's practice our silent chewing (stuffs melon in Cavegirl's mouth) Cavegirl: (garbled speech with mouth full) Trunk: No no no no no no no. You never speak with your mouth full (Cavegirl spits out melon) Cavegirl: I'm sorry Trunk Cavegirl: (to herself) My family will kill me if I dump Trunk. I've got to get him to dump me. He's lost his wild side. [Stiks walking with Nettle] Stiks: Got it? Nettle: Yeah. I see you and Cavegirl walking, and then I run up to you Stiks: And then you say? Nettle: Stiks, I haven't seen you for hours. I've missed you so much. It's been pure hell Stiks: And then? Nettle: And then I snog you...for five seconds [Nettle looks around and Stiks is gone. She ducks into the grass where Stiks is squatting] Nettle: What are you doing? Stiks: Nettle, I really really appreciate this, it's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me...you're such a mate...but I was thinking, if we could do just one little run... Nettle: Don't push your luck [Meal time at Trunk's cave] Cavegirl: More more want some more. More more want some more. More more want some more. More want some more. More more [Cavegirl grabs more food and eats with it falling from her mouth] Cavegirl: De...licious Trunk: Er, weather's nice this time of year isn't it Dad? Cavegirl: Stuff the weather...(walks over to Trunk and scoops food from bowl)...You finished with that? Good [Down by the stream, Stiks chases after Cavegirl] Stiks: Cavegirl! Cavegirl!...What's up? Cavegirl: Trunk just dumped me...Well...to be honest it was more like I dumped him Stiks: Yeah, why? Cavegirl: He lost his edge. Pity 'cause he's such a free spirit Nettle: Stiks?...Oh, you wonderful gorgeous boy. I haven't seen you for hours. I've missed you so much...It's been pure hell Stiks: Get away from me you needy loser Nettle: What? Stiks: I've told you, it's over. Now deal with it Nettle: But...but [Stiks follows Cavegirl] Stiks: She was too clingy for me. I'm more of a free spirit, if you know what I mean Cavegirl: (to herself) Maybe Stiks is developing a wild streak. Excellent. Cavegirl: Stiks? |
last updated Jan 7th 06
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