[Market]

Cavegirl: I love this, the neighbouring market to just swap 'til you drop. A day of pure escapism

Stiks: I want to go home

Sales Guy: War paint, tattoos...piercing

Clothes Salesman: Cheetah...cheetah

Big Sis: Cheetah's so last year. Antelope's the new cheetah

Clothes Salesman: Antelope?...er, some came in this morning

Big Sis: Ooo, let me try

[Blonde bombshell slo mos into market and attracts crowd of males]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Who does she think she is? I hate girls who have to be the centre of attention. What do they see in her. Anyone can look good with a few rocks round their neck

Cavegirl: Excuse me, where did you get that necklace from?

Blonde Bombshell: The fruit stand

Cavegirl: The fruit stand?

Blonde Bombshell: (sigh) The necklace stand stupid

Stiks: Um huh

[Cavegirl and Stiks go to necklace stand]

Stiks: That would look great on you

Cavegirl: How much is this?

Jewellery Salesman: How much you give me for it?

Cavegirl: Umm, five oogli fruits?

Jewellery Salesman: Not cheap these, all the rage they are

Cavegirl: OK, Six?

Jewellery Salesman: Ninety three ooglis...and that's a bargain

Stiks: Ninety three ooglis?

Jewellery Salesman: That's the price

Stiks: You must be joking

Jewellery Salesman: Take it or leave it

Cavegirl: Maybe the necklace isn't quite me. Aah, it'll be out of fashion in no time, and my life is great just as it is


[Big Sis trying on antelope wrap]

Big Sis: What do you think?

Cavegirl: It's alright

Big Sis: I'll take it

Cavegirl: (to herself) Actually I'm not over it. I want those rocks so bad

Big Sis: I'll swap you six

Clothes Salesman: Actually I don't want any ooglis. Wouldn't mind a couple of goats though.

Cavegirl: So we have to go all the way to our village to get goats?

Clothes Salesman: Yes

Cavegirl: Can't we take the fur now, and swap it the next time we come over?

Clothes Salesman: Naao

Cavegirl: Couldn't you be...just a bit flexible?

Clothes Salesman: No, and that's final

Big Sis: OK! Let's get the goats



[Return with the goats]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Is this boring? Or is this boring?

Clothes Salesman: No actually I don't want any goats

Cavegirl: But that's what you said

Clothes Salesman: Yeah, but my wife wants oogli fruits. Sorry, I tried to catch you but you were gone

Stiks: But you said goats

Clothes Salesman: Yeah, now I'm saying oogli. Got it?

Cavegirl: So this was all for nothing...(to Big Sis)...You and your stupid fur

Stiks: But please, we've come miles, I've got blisters

Clothes Salesman: I share your pain, I really do (sniggers)

Cavegirl: (to herself) We had a deal. This is so unfair

[They leave, passing the blonde bombshell]



[Sat in shade of tree]

Cavegirl: Yeah and what about me? What about that brilliant necklace I can't have ?

Big Sis: See, there you go again, always thinking of yourself

Cavegirl: One moment it's fruits, the next it's goats, and you know what, I bet the next thing they'll ask for is chickens. I mean, can't the guy make up his mind. There's got to be a better way

[An acorn from the tree falls on Cavegirl's head]

Cavegirl: Ow!

Cavegirl: (to herself) From tiny acorns come big ideas



[Market]

Cavegirl: Here are six acorns

Big Sis: And we take...the fur

Clothes Saleslady: What do we want acorns for?

Clothes Salesman: Well I don't like acorns anyway, you can't eat them

Cavegirl: Noo, they're to swop. When you come to our village you can exchange them for fruit, goats, chickens...whatever you want

Clothes Salesman: This is a new way of doing business?

Cavegirl: Believe me, it's going to be big...You'll be ahead of the game



[Much later at the village]

Clothes Saleslady: We'll take one fruit, a chicken and a goat

[Depart with the goods]

Dad: That's rubbish...Getting a few acorns for all that?

Roast: Yeah, we don't want acorns either

Cavegirl: No, Big Sis got the fur remember. This completes the swop...and everyone's quits

Ensemble: Ohhhh



[Cavegirl snoozing in home cave, dreaming of her wearing the necklace, slo mo'ing into village, a real poser]

Cavegirl: Cavegirl wants, Cavegirl gets

[Cavegirl joins the others]

Dad: One...two

Cavegirl: Dad?...Daddy? I would look really good in...

Dad: Cavegirl, I said no. We've hardly got any acorns left and that's the end of the matter

Cavegirl: Where've they all gone?

Dad: They all got an early start this morning

Cavegirl: (to herself) So thanks to me, everyone's got what they want, except me

Cavegirl: Dad, I just had another idea

Dad: Oh?

Cavegirl: Why wait until tomorrow when you can have something today?

Dad: This something...wouldn't happen to be a necklace would it?

Cavegirl: (sigh) (to herself) Buy now...pay later

Cavegirl: Brilliant



[Market, Cavegirl gives Jewellery Salesman piece of bark]

Jewellery Salesman: What's this?

Cavegirl: (to herself with necklace) Buy now...pay later

Cavegirl: Yes!

Big Sis: This piece of bark idea's brilliant

Mum: Yes

Gran: Certainly is, she's such a clever girl

Mum: Don't you think these skins are so me?

Clothes Salesman: (reading bark) This can be exchanged for lots of fruits, chickens, goats and generally loads of stuff

Jewellery Salesman: I'm not so sure about this. I prefer acorns.

Cavegirl: This is better than acorns, much more convenient. Look after it. It's a very valuable piece of bark. Ah one thing. Our harvest isn't until next month so you can't come until then



[Next month]

Cavegirl: (to herself) This is great. We've got plenty to swap. Ooglis, goats...and chickens

[Home cave]

Dad: What I'm saying is...suppose a thief comes into the village in the dead of night and steals our supplies. Where would we be then? Umm?...Yes..our friendly neighbours would no longer be friendly. We'd have a fight on our hands.

[Stiks rushes in]

Stiks: I've got some rather bad news



[At the stockpile of stuff, lots of ruined ooglis]

Stiks: Didn't start all at once. It was one or two oogli fruits at first which started rolling down the pile but suddenly the whole lot went, the goats took fright, breaking down the fence, trampling the chickens...

Dad: OK OK we get the picture

Cavegirl: (to herself) This is my worst nightmare. Me and my bright ideas

Cavegirl: We don't know for certain that the merchants are going to come today. You know they keep changing their minds. It might be weeks before they come...and by that time we'll have more of everything

Stiks: Cavegirl's right. We're panicking over nothing

Merchants: Yoo Hoo

Cavegirl: Hi there

Jewellery Salesman: We've been so looking forward to this

Clothes Salesman: We want to spend, spend, spend

Cavegirl: Sorry. We're closed

Jewellery Salesman: So, you're saying today's a bit inconvenient

Stiks: Yes

Jewellery Salesman: OK, we'll come back tomorrow

[Merchants leave]

Dad: (to Cavegirl) Sort it!

Cavegirl: (to herself) Tomorrow? That's a fat lot of good



[Tribe meeting]

Gran: Why can't we just tell them the truth?

Mum: Why don't we just run away?

Big Sis: Or Cavegirl could just give back the necklace

Dad: Big Sis has got a point

Cavegirl: And I've got a point too...Why don't Mum, Gran and Big Sis give back all their furs, potions and jewellery which...I might add...they would not have in the first place had I not come up with the bark idea

Dad: Exactly! If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this hole, would we? The necklace goes

Cavegirl: How could you? You know it means everything to me

[Cavegirl leaves, Stiks pulls Roast and Trunk to him]

Stiks: I've got an idea...but I might need your help



[Three hooded figures raid the merchants en route]

Clothes Salesman: Oi, they've taken our pieces of bark

[The merchants arrive at the village]

Cavegirl: Good morning. Lovely day isn't it?

Jewellery Salesman: Actually, it isn't

Cavegirl: Oh

Clothes Salesman: We were mugged...by bandits

Cavegirl: Did you see what the bandits looked like?

Jewellery Salesman: No...they were masked

Cavegirl: Oh no

Stiks: Nowhere's safe these days is it?

Jewellery Salesman: Thing is, they took our pieces of bark. The ones that said you still owe us fruit...and chickens...and goats...so...it's not a problem...is it?

Cavegirl: I did say it was a very valuable piece of bark and to look after it didn't I?

Clothes Salesman: So we can't get our fruit, chicken and goats?

[Cavegirl pushes Dad in front of her]

Cavegirl: Perhaps you could...try to find those bandits and get you to give them the pieces of bark (blatant error in script!). But if you have no luck, come back in a month and we'll see what we can do

Jewellery Salesman: OK, fine

Clothes Saleslady: Alright

Clothes Salesman: Pleasure doing business with you

Clothes Saleslady: We'll see you in a month



[Later]

Cavegirl: (to their three Hoods) I can't believe you did that for me. If I'd known I would have stopped you

Stiks: Why do you think I didn't tell you?

Dad: You're lucky to have gotten away with it

Stiks: And you're lucky to have a daughter who's more beautiful than anyone else (followed by sniggers from others)

Cavegirl: Thanks...Stiks

Cavegirl: (to herself, running to market) To be honest, I'm not enjoying the necklace now. I got it by deception. There's only one thing for me to do...Stupid of me to think a silly bit of jewellery could really change my life...

[Necklace stand]

Cavegirl: How much for the matching earrings?