Mr Stone: Ladies and gentlemen, Stone Crazy proudly presents...
[Lots of acrobats flying around]


[Villagers consulting mirror man, Roast's Dad]

Mum: So nothing at all inside of the eye?

Mirror Man: Your eyes are like deep green pools, and you still have the skin of a small child

Mum: and still sveldt and slender?

Mirror Man: Like no other

Mum: Oh great!...Come on Cavegirl, your go

Cavegirl: Do I have to use this mirror man?

Mum: Yes, he's the best there is

Cavegirl: (to mirror man) Go on then, tell me what I look like

[Trunk rushes up]

Trunk: Cavegirl, Cavegirl you'll never guess what. Come on

Cavegirl: Sorry, got to go

Mum: (to mirror man) Tell me more about my eyes

Cavegirl: Excuse me...What!...What is it?

Stiks: Stone Crazy are coming

Cavegirl: Stone Crazy?

Nettle: Yeah! Stone Crazy

[Ensemble scream]



[Cavegirl having hair brushed by The Drummer, Big Sis chasing boy]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Stone Crazy are coming. Got to get gorgeous

Big Sis: Get him Cavegirl, get him

The Drummer: But I haven't finished your hair yet...

Big Sis: Get him

[Cavegirl brings boy down with flying tackle]

Cavegirl: Er...Oh

[Boy escapes]

Cavegirl: What was all that about? What was he, a thief?

Big Sis: No, I fancied him. Fool keeps running away. Can you believe it? Oi!

Cavegirl: (to herself) That's weird. Most guys would give their right arm to get near Big Sis. Talking of weird, what's that? Purple fruit. Never seen purple fruit before...Smells good...Ummm, tastes good



[Next day, home cave]

Mum: Cavegirl, market day!

[Cavegirl gets up and runs out of cave]

Cavegirl: Morning Mum, I can't wait to see Stone Crazy, can you...

Mum: Ah! What's happened to you? What's happened to your face?

Cavegirl: What, what's wrong?

Mum: It's nothing dear, it's nothing (sobs)

[Cavegirl climbs into the sight of a group of girls who burst out laughing. Cavegirl's face is purple]

Big Sis: You're just this one big purple blotch



[Cavegirl runs off]

Cavegirl: (to herself) If I really am a purple blotch it's because I ate that purple fruit. Better check with Roast.

[Roast is a trainee mirror man like his Dad]

Cavegirl: Roast, you're a mirror man. What do I look like?

Roast: Purple



[Cavegirl prevented leaving home cave by Nettle, Stiks and Trunk with spears]

Cavegirl: This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me

Stiks: It's OK

Nettle: It doesn't look that bad

Cavegirl: Really?

Nettle: Just don't get too close

Cavegirl: Oh, I can't believe Stone Crazy are going to see me like this

Nettle: You're going to the show?

Cavegirl: Of course

Trunk: You're not standing next to me. There's no way that my friends are going to see that I hang out with a grape

Nettle: Nor me

Stiks: Nor me

Cavegirl: What? But you said it's not that bad

[Cavegirl pushed back into cave]

Cavegirl: (to herself) I can't believe it. Just when Stone Crazy are coming

Big Sis: Yeah well look on the bright side, at least they'll notice you now. You big fat grape

Mum: Oh Big Sis come on be nice

Big Sis: Why should I? As if sunset face is ever nice to me

Cavegirl: I am nice. Here, have some fruit. It's delicious

Big Sis: Umm, it's pretty good



[Outside, Cavegirl sobbing, Big Sis eating the fruit]

Mum: ...beautiful sunset. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being purple. Purple's a lovely colour...Isn't it Big Sis?...Isn't it Big Sis?

Big Sis: Yes, purple's wonderful. Yes, everybody likes purple, and yes, purple's beautiful

Cavegirl: Really? It's not that bad?

Mum: No...It's not that bad...is it Big Sis?

[Big Sis turns round showing bright purple face, Cavegirl and Mum stare]

Big Sis: No, it's not that bad...What?



[Big Sis runs off chased by Cavegirl]

Cavegirl: Big Sis!

[Cavegirl tackles Big Sis]

Cavegirl: No matter what colour you are you're beautiful

Big Sis: I'm not, I'm hideous

Cavegirl: You're beautiful

Boy: Big Sis?

Big Sis: Don't look at me

[Big Sis runs off chased by boy]

Cavegirl: (to herself) My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault...my fault Big Sis really likes him and when you really like someone it's a really wrong time to have a purple face. I wonder how long it lasts? Maybe it's gone. Maybe I should talk to a mirror man



[Cavegirl joins long line for mirror man, Roast's Dad]

Stiks: Hi, Stone Crazy how are you doing guys? Oh me, I'm just hanging around. How was that?

Mirror Man: I thought it was really cool...and by the way the headband's a really nice touch

Cavegirl: I think it looks stupid

Stiks: Yeah like you know what cool is

Nettle: Yeah, hello, purple isn't in this year

Trunk: Um I'm thinking maybe we should go 'cause you know, might catch something

The Drummer: (to mirror man) Is my nose too big?



[Cavegirl sat on a rock]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Don't need mirror man. My so-called friends made it quite clear I'm still a purple blotch. Stuff them. Stuff my friends. Who needs them?

[Monday]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Monday, feels good to be on my own

[Tuesday]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Tuesday, still feels good to be on my own

[Another day]

Cavegirl: (to herself) I hate being on my own. I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow?

Mirror Man: I only do faces love, not feelings. You talk to my son, he does silly stuff like feelings

Cavegirl: Roast? You see people...what do I need?

Roast: Sounds to me like you need friends

Cavegirl: Nettle!

Nettle: Oi! What're you doing?

Cavegirl: I need a friend Nettle. You're supposed to be my friend. I'm always there for you. Why can't you be there for me?

Nettle: Because Cavegirl, for the first time people want me around. Not you...me...and it feels great

Trunk: What're you doing. Stay away she's unclean

Cavegirl: I'm only purple. What do you mean?

Trunk: You're unclean

Nettle: Always the centre of attention. The cleverest, the one with the best clothes, all the boys

Cavegirl: I'm just being me



[Stiks at mirror man, Roast]

Stiks: So what do you reckon, the headband's still alright

Cavegirl: Stiks

Trunk: Stiks, stay away, she's unclean

Stiks: I wasn't going to go anywhere near her. She's purple. We might catch something. Let's leave

Cavegirl: But I'm all alone

Nettle: Maybe it's time you felt what it feels like to be alone

Cavegirl: Roast?

Roast: Could it be...that you're acting differently so they're treating you differently

Cavegirl: So if I behave like I usually do...maybe things'll go back to normal

Roast: Maybe. Might be worth a try

Cavegirl: So let's see, what would I do if people were dissing me? I'd double-diss them back



[Cavegirl marches to Stone Crazy performance in all-purple outfit]

Cavegirl: (to herself) If you're gonna double-diss people, you've got to look like you mean it. You've got to look confident

Stiks: What a mess

Nettle: Outrageous

Trunk: She's hideous

[Cavegirl sits next to Stiks]

Trunk: You're not sitting with us. Stay away weirdo

Cavegirl: I'll sit where I want. If you don't like it, you know what you can do

Nettle: (gasp) The nerve

Stiks: I can't believe you're going to let Stone Crazy see you like that

Trunk: I know. I'm ashamed just being on the same tribe as her

Cavegirl: Why don't you three shut up?

Cavegirl: (to herself) Got to look confident. Got to look confident. Got to look confident. Got to look confident.



[Some way away, the boy approaches Big Sis]

Big Sis: I don't want anyone to see me like this

Boy: I think you look wonderful

Big Sis: Well I don't. I'm all purple blotchy

Boy: Well I like it. Before, you were so beautiful it was scary. I couldn't talk to you...Now that you're not perfect, I feel I can relax around you

Big Sis: OK

Boy: In fact, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the show with me?

Big Sis: Can we just stay here? Just be us



[Stone Crazy performing]

Mr Stone: OK now I need someone from the audience. Any volunteers?

Ensemble: Me me me

Mr Stone: (to Cavegirl) You're perfect

Stiks: Tart

Nettle: Cow

Trunk: I'm better looking than her

Gran: I wanted you to fling me about

Mr Stone: Ladies and gentlemen, Stone Crazy proudly presents...Cavegirl!

[Stone Crazy do lots of whirling and twirling with Cavegirl ]



[Mirror Man, Roast's Dad]

Mirror Man: My grandfather was a mirror man, my father was a mirror man. I'm a mirror man. It's in your blood...but you've got to learn to lie to people. You won't make any money if you tell the truth

Roast: I can't lie to people

Mirror Man: 'Course you can lie to people. I lie to people. That's how I make money...Bend the truth...warp the mirror...buck your ideas up



[After the show, Cavegirl sitting by the side of the path. Mr Stone approaches. Stiks, Nettle and Trunk in nearby grass]

Mr Stone: Are you OK?

Cavegirl: A bit dizzy

Mr Stone: You get used to it. I love your whole look

Cavegirl: You do?

Mr Stone: Yeah. All the chicks up north have got the same colour vibe. You've got this whole retro thing

[Stiks, Nettle and Trunk run up]

Nettle: Hi Cavegirl. Hi Mr Stone

Mr Stone: Are these friends of yours?

Cavegirl: Some...time

Nettle: No she's just kidding. We're her best friends

Mr Stone: (to Cavegirl) Could I have a word please?



Mr Stone: I was er wondering if you maybe wanted to join the group. You've got great talent and a wonderful look

Cavegirl: I'd love to...but... I don't want to leave my friends

Mr Stone: You keep flying that cool flag down here. Someone's gotta...later

Cavegirl: Later



[In the village, Cavegirl has lost the purple face. She finds mirror man Roast]

Cavegirl: Am I still purple?

Roast: No, no, not purple

Cavegirl: I'm better. Great...While I'm here, how do I look?

Roast: Seventeen freckles on the nose, forty two eyelashes on the left and sixty seven on the right, slight graze on chin but other than that, absolutely gorgeous

Cavegirl: Excellent

Mum: Young man? Um, I normally go to your father but er, could you do me?

Roast: (sighs) Well...

[Mum screams and throttles Roast]

Mum: You...you...How dare you say that to me. Your father says I'm a young slip of a girl

Roast: My...father...lies

Mum: Right



[Big Sis and the boy are walking, Big Sis has lost the purple face]

Big Sis: So I'm normal again. What's the difference?

Boy: Well, um...

Big Sis: What is your problem?

Boy: Cute, fear

Big Sis: OK beautiful, scary. You can't talk to me. I'll eat some more purple fruit

Cavegirl: (to herself) It's good to be back to normal. And even better, I've got a whole new look whenever I need it

[Stiks, Trunk and Nettle run up, blotchy purple]

Stiks: So what do you think?

Cavegirl: Sad

Trunk: What? Didn't we do it right?

Nettle: Have we done something wrong?

Stiks: Oh come on Cavegirl tell us we're your mates

[Mum rushes past chasing mirror man, Roast's Dad]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Big Sis has learned that relationships aren't all about looks. Roast's dad has got a beating from Mum, and these three are trying hard. Ahh, life is sweet.