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[Cavegirl dancing in a really hot outfit surrounded by boys]
Cavegirl: (to herself) This is the most amazing dream. I hope it goes on for ever [Cavegirl wakes with a yelp as water poured on her face] Dad: Wake up Cavegirl. We're out of water. It's your turn to go to the waterhole today Cavegirl: (to herself) Parents. They really know how to burst your bubble Cavegirl: Dad? Dad! Dad: Yes Cavegirl Cavegirl: I had this amazing dream. The whole village has got together. There were a couple of guys banging drums and we were all jiggling about...like this [Cavegirl dances] Dad: You feeling alright? Cavegirl: It's nice. Can we try it sometime? Dad: What's it for?...Aw, to scare the Warrior tribe? Cavegirl: No Dad: To bring rain? Cavegirl: No Dad: Ward off land serpents? Cavegirl: No Dad: Well what then? Cavegirl: For fun Dad: Nope, don't get it...Now come on...there's water to fetch Cavegirl: Chores, hunting and fighting that's all we ever do! Mum: Why's Cavegirl got the hump? Dad: Oh, she wants us to get together with, with lots of drums and jiggle our bodies about...like this [Dad demos the jiggling] Big Sis: Hey I want a go [Big Sis jiggles] Big Sis: She's right, it is fun Mum: Let me have a go [Everyone starts jiggling] Dad: Oi stop it...Stop! Big Sis: (to Cavegirl) I just had this amazing jiggling around idea...watch Cavegirl: Wait a minute...My idea! Dad: Stop, everyone...Look, life's hard...We're born, we hunt, we fight our enemies, then we die. There's no time for any of this fun business. Now go and get the water Cavegirl Cavegirl: (to herself) Right, I'm not a kid any more. There are times when you have to stand up to authority Cavegirl: Hey, get it yourself! [Cavegirl at waterhole] Cavegirl: (to herself) I've definitely planted a seed...I think [Cavegirl smells the water in the skin] Cavegirl: Oooh [Back in the village Mum smells the water] Mum: Ooooo...fire lizard Dad: Sabotage. You know who's done this?...the Warriors. They've poisoned our one and only water supply Cavegirl: Right, I've done the water, now can we have our jiggling about thing Dad: Sorry Cavegirl...Stiks!...We're having a war meeting, bang the drum [War meeting] Dad: Those despicable Warriors have poisoned our waterhole with fire lizard dung. Right, any ideas for retaliatory action? Cavegirl: Look, can't we just stop all this fighting Dad: No! Cavegirl: Dad, there are times in life when you've just got to rise above it...move on Dad: They started it, they've got to apologise Cavegirl: (to herself) Here we go. Wake me up when this is over Mum: We did steal their prickly pears Dad: Well that's because they set fire to our huts Big Sis: Wasn't that because we put jellyfish in their rockpool? Roast: Yeah 'cause they stole our kindling wood Trunk: That might have something to do with us stealing their flintstones Mum: We did steal their prickly pears Cavegirl: (to herself) I spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'W'...Warriors! [A band of Warriors are raiding the oogli trees] Cavegirl: Er Dad Dad: Shush...let Gran speak Cavegirl: Little problemo Dad: Shush Cavegirl: Stiks? [Stiks turns round] Stiks: Warriors! Dad: Stiks sit down Trunk: Er Chief? Little Bro: Dad look Dad: What's the matter with your generation?...Warriors!...Why didn't someone tell me. After them! [The tribe chase after the Warriors] Dad: Too late, they all got away Trunk: Not all of them [Trunk points to a Warrior hanging by the ankles from a rope] Trunk: Haaa, ha ha Dad: Trunk! You remembered to set a trap Trunk: Well, actually, I set two [Trunk whisked into the air by second trap] Trunk: Or er, was it three? [Dad whisked into the air by third trap] [Later] Cavegirl: (to herself) The poor Warrior. They've tied him up and left him hanging there all night. I feel so sorry for him...Woowsa!...He's just like the boy in my dream. The one I was jiggling with Cavegirl: You alright? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: Thirsty? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: I'll get you an oogli...look, there's a couple left at the top [Cavegirl jumps up and grabs one oogli] Cavegirl: Jump like a boy don't I? [Cavegirl gives Uh-huh Warrior some fruit and smells him] Cavegirl: (to herself) Mmmm, I think we're starting to click. Aaah, ummm Cavegirl: Aren't you fed up with all this hatred and feuding? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: I mean, fighting, more fighting... Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: Meetings about fighting, meetings about meetings about fighting Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: (to herself) We're so alike. OK, he's not the most articulate person I've ever met but, Cavegirl: It's such a waste of time when we could be doing other things...don't you think? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: (to herself) After all, communication skills are more a girl thing [Cavegirl gets stuck in kissing as Dad arrives] Dad: Cavegirl! Cavegirl: Dad Dad: What's going on? Cavegirl: Nothing Dad Dad: I hope you're not leading him on Cavegirl: No Dad: Because it wouldn't be fair, given that he'll be dead by tomorrow morning Cavegirl: Dead? You're going to kill him? Dad: He's getting off lightly I'll have you know Cavegirl: But Dad... Dad: I mean he's a trespasser...he stole our fruit...he's a Warrior Cavegirl: But Dad... Dad: No ???? Cavegirl Cavegirl: Oh but please let the boy go? Dad: What! Cavegirl: Look at him...so young...so beautiful...and life ahead of him, dragged into a fight he doesn't believe in. Just imagine if it was me caught by the Warriors and how you begged them to show forgiveness. Please?...Have mercy Dad: Your words have touched my heart. The Warrior boy can go free. Thank you Cavegirl, for showing me a nobler way. Cavegirl: Oh Daddy [Rewind] Cavegirl: (to herself) It would be nice if it happened like that. Actually what happens is this... Cavegirl: ...Just imagine if it was me caught by the Warriors and how you begged them to show forgiveness. Please?...Have mercy Dad: No [The second oogli falls from the tree and knocks Dad out. Cavegirl releases Uh-huh warrior] Cavegirl: Quick, get out of here Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: Will we see each other again? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: We'll have to do it in secret, our tribes are sworn enemies Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: Do you know the third hillock past the canyon? Meet there next full moon Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: (to herself) Oh, I'm going to be in trouble. Awesome trouble [Punishment Pit, all gathered around Cavegirl] Dad: Cavegirl, I want you to picture the Warriors poisoning our well. Picture the Warriors stealing our fruit. Picture yourself betraying our tribe Cavegirl: (to herself) I've been picturing for three days and two nights Mum: Dad? How long do we have to stand here? Dad: Until Cavegirl acknowledges the error of her ways Cavegirl: (to herself) But I don't care. Someone has to try and stop this stupid fighting. I'll stay here forever if that's what it takes [Handsome boy walks past] Cavegirl: (to herself) Mind you, that's not to say one shouldn't be flexible [Stiks on sentry duty sees distant blue figure] Stiks: Chieftan???? Dad: Stiks, don't interrupt. Punishment Pit is an important part... Mum: Oh not this again! [Mum clips Dad on the back of the head] Mum: Look! [The figure waves his spear. The tribe charge and stop] Trunk: It's the chief of the Warriors Roast: Quick, after him Dad: What's he doing? Stiks: He's got a spear Roast: We'll head him off at the ravine Ensemble: Aaaaah Dad: Wait!...He's waving his spear Roast: Chief, this might be a trap Dad: No, it means he wants to talk Trunk: OK, but kill him first chief... [Trunk offers a spear] Trunk: ...Just to be on the safe side [Dad meets the Warrior chief] Warrior Chief: Hello Dad: Hello Warrior Chief: This a bad moment? Dad: No Warrior Chief: Just wanted to say er...thanks...Thanks for letting the boy go. It was a...a nice gesture. We were er...deeply touched Dad: Well, I...I just thought it would be an idea to ease off on the hostilities a bit Warrior Chief: And another thing er...sorry we poisoned the well...and for taking the fruit...it was a...petty and er...and vindictive Dad: No, it's our fault, we started it. We took your prickly pears. We're the ones who should apologise. Warrior Chief: That was because we set fire to your huts Dad: And that was because we put jellyfish in your rockpool. So it's our fault Warrior Chief: Now listen here, if we hadn't... [Dad wallops the Warrior chief, both fall flat on the ground] Warrior Chief: So we...so we both started it Dad: That's fine by me...friends then? [They shake hands] Dad: Friends [Back at the village, the Drummer's drumming and everyone's jiggling] Cavegirl: (to herself) And so after years of fighting, together we are celebrating a new era of friendship and tranquility...What's more, the jiggling around thingy...must find a word for it...is really catching on Dad: (to Warrior chief) Just wiggle...like this Warrior Chief: Heh, this is fun [Cavegirl spots the Uh-huh warrior with another girl] Cavegirl: Er remember me? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: I helped you escape Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: And we said we'd see each other again Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: That your girlfriend? Uh-huh Warrior: Uh-huh Cavegirl: Fine...well...as long as you're happy then...see you around sometime [Cavegirl walks away] Cavegirl : Uh-huh, uh-huh...I mean [Cavegirl runs to Warrior's waterhole] Cavegirl: (to herself) If he wants to go with that other girl, I don't care. I'll just take this handful of dung, down to their water supply and poison it! Um-hmm |
last updated Jan 7th 06
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