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[Cavegirl and Roast are kissing, a scream sounds in the distance. A few more screams interspersed with kissing]
Cavegirl: Don't go away Curdle: Aaah, aah, aah [Cavegirl comes upon woman sat in stream] Cavegirl: Oi Curdle, swimming's supposed to be a nice thing, no need to scream Curdle: I can't help it Cavegirl: I'm busy back there, I need some hush Curdle: Aaah, I'm having a baby Cavegirl: Well can you have it quieter. Thank you [Cavegirl rushes back] Cavegirl: Sorry about that Roast, um.. [Roast is kissing Nettle] Cavegirl: I thought that I was kissing you Roast: No, you weren't kissing me, you just leaving rather nasty puddly pools of spit on my chin Nettle: Only to be expected, she's only a kid Cavegirl: I'm a what? Nettle: Little kids shouldn't try and do big girl's stuff Cavegirl: I'm not a little kid [Cavegirl walks with Mum and Little Bro in the village] Cavegirl: I'm not a little kid am I Mum? Mum: Of course you're not a little kid you're a big big big girl, big as a mountain Cavegirl: I'm not big as a mountain [Gran approaches, Mum hands over Little Bro] Mum: Gran, it's only for a night just keep and eye on him Gran: We can play in the sand Mum: Ah, that's a good idea. Cavegirl, do you want to play in the sand pits? Cavegirl: No, I don't want to play in the sand pits [Home cave, Cavegirl and Mum walk out] Mum: Right, there's meat and fruit if you're hungry, clean clothes in a pile, and the babysitter knows where I am if there's a problem Cavegirl: For a really silly moment there I thought you said babysitter Mum: Oh it's not for you it's for me. I feel like a bad mum when I leave you Cavegirl: I've got a babysitter. I'm too old to have a babysitter. I'm nearly old enough to be an adult Mum: 'Course you are dear, you're big big big as a mountain Cavegirl: Oooh Mum: See yuh Cavegirl: Ooh but Mum... Roast: Cavegirl Cavegirl: Hello Roast Roast: Where's the baby? Cavegirl: The what? Roast: Your mum's paying me to babysit a baby. Ah, I'll check inside Cavegirl: N, n, n n... [Cavegirl stops Roast] Cavegirl: It'll be sleeping. You stay here, I'll check the baby [Cavegirl dashes in the cave and out the back. In the village, Stiks is dragging some poles as Cavegirl runs past] Stiks: You alright? Cavegirl: I will be, I've got a plan [At the stream, Cavegirl finds the pregnant Curdle] Cavegirl: Baby here yet? Curdle: Noooo! Cavegirl: Blast Curdle: Oh, tell me about it...(pants) [Cavegirl heads back to the cave] Roast: Cavegirl, how's the baby?....Cavegirl? Cavegirl: (on the way ) What are you doing? Stiks: Discovering Cavegirl: You know I said I had a plan, well now I've got a new plan and it involves you Stiks: What sort of plan? [Back at home cave] Roast: I'm getting paid to look after a baby the least I could do is make sure it's OK. [In the cave] Stiks: Do I have to be a baby? Cavegirl: Yes, now cry like a baby Stiks: I don't want to cry like a baby, I've had this id.... Cavegirl: Shut up. A few little whimpers here and there will do the trick Roast: Cavegirl Cavegirl: Coming Stiks: Waaah Cavegirl: Not yet [Cavegirl goes out of cave] Roast: Baby alright? Cavegirl: Yeah, I mean she dribbles a bit and wet herself...Roast, what are you doing? Roast: I thought as I'm babysitting I could make things cosy...maybe kiss a bit Cavegirl: I'm glad you're here Roast: Yeah, so am I Stiks: Waaah....waaah....waaah Roast: I'll go Cavegirl: N-n-n-no, I'll sort her out Stiks: Waaah...waaah Cavegirl: Alright alright, he's heard the baby noise. You can go back and do your wheels discovering Cavegirl: (in direction of Roast) Yeah I calmed her down but she wet herself again, she's always doing it, she's nodding off we won't hear another peep...(turning to Stiks)...will we? Stiks: Eh Cavegirl: Just go [Cavegirl goes to rejoin Roast but he's gone] Cavegirl: (to herself) Oh no [Cavegirl runs a little way and sits on a rock, Mum and Roast are standing there] Cavegirl: What are you doing here? Mum: Your father isn't ready so I thought I'd pop back and check that everything's fine Roast: er like I said, everything's excellent Mum: Oh good Cavegirl: Nothing to worry about Mum: Good Roast: Oh she's dribbled a bit and wet herself a couple of times but Cavegirl says she's always doing it [Stunned look from Mum] Roast: See yer Cavegirl: It's not something I like to talk about, see yer [Mum takes off] Cavegirl: (to herself) Great. Now Mum really does think I'm a kid, but Roast doesn't and that's all that matters...Roast? [Roast gets up from behind a rock] Roast: Cavegirl Cavegirl: I never thought we'd be alone together Nettle: You're not Cavegirl: What's she doing here? Roast: I invited her to come babysitting with me Nettle: Never mind what I'm doing here, what are you doing here? Cavegirl: I live here Nettle: No, I mean if he's babysitting the baby, why are you here? If you're here, why does your mum need a babysitter? Cavegirl: I'm not here, I'm going out Nettle: Good Cavegirl: See yer Nettle: Just go will you Cavegirl: I'll see you Roast Nettle: He's busy...Let's go inside [Nettle and Roast head into the cave] [Cavegirl wandering] Cavegirl: (to herself) How can he invite her round to babysit? She's not even pretty..well, she is pretty, she's lovely, hate her [Roast and Nettle rush out] Roast: The baby's gone! Cavegirl: What?...I mean...what! Roast: W-w-we just went inside a-a-and she's gone Nettle: You lost the baby that's serious I'm out of here [Nettle runs off] Roast: Nettle...Nettle...we've got to find the baby Cavegirl: Stay there [Cavegirl runs through the cave and out the back in search of Stiks. Sound of scream. Cavegirl finds Stiks working on his invention, a cart with wheels] Cavegirl: I need you to be a baby again Stiks: I'm busy Cavegirl: Stiks pleease Stiks: Stuff please...I'm doing something serious here. If I can get the wheels moving it could be an important discovery for the tribe and I could make a fortune. You're not the only one with new ideas...(silence)...Well say something Cavegirl: Shh Stiks: What? Cavegirl: What do you hear? Stiks: Nothing Cavegirl: No screaming? Stiks: Nothing! Cavegirl: Excellent [Cavegirl runs down to the stream, the pregnant Curdle is gone. Cavegirl finds her nearby sleeping with her baby] Cavegirl: Ah, you did it Curdle: It wasn't easy Cavegirl: Good things never are...let me see...aaaah beautiful. She's a honey, you must be tired Curdle: Yeah Cavegirl: How long have you been in labour? Curdle: Two weeks Cavegirl: Heh, sooo tired...so very tired...so so so tired...and sleep (clicks fingers) [Cavegirl rushes back to cave with baby] [Stiks working away, talking to a couple] Stiks: It could revolutionize the way we live. Who would have thought progress would come from the wheel [Cavegirl enters cave] Cavegirl: Got her Roast: Oh where was she? Cavegirl: She'd fallen down that pit with sludge in the bottom. Babies like sludgy pits. Reminds them of the womb Cavegirl: ???? noises. Strange new smells Roast: And you climbed down after her? Cavegirl: Huh, it was nothing...waded through the rotting slime and risked my life to save the child Roast: That is so dangerous Cavegirl: Huh, I know...I'll put her to bed [Cavegirl heads back to the stream and stops by Stiks. The couple are laying with Stiks on his invention] Cavegirl: (to the adults) You're parents aren't you? Stiks: The two rotating whee... Lady: Yeah, I've got a toddler [Cavegirl heads off] Stiks: The two rotating wheels at the corners... Cavegirl: (to lady) Then you know this is very important. Curdles' sleeping by the lake. This belongs to her Stiks: The two rotating wheels at the corners allow you to move the bed from room to room Cavegirl: Stiks! Stiks: I'll be one minute... Cavegirl: I think you'll find that by adding two extra wheels at the other end, you'll be able to make much more of it than a bed. Loads of hills round here Stiks: So? Cavegirl: Work it out [Cavegirl leaves] Stiks: Right...forget the bed thing...put a wheel on each corner....Oh look you little baby, ku ku ku ku...Anyway, hills, wheels, you can see the potential [Back at the cave] Roast: Cavegirl...Cavegirl! Cavegirl: Sssh, you'll wake the baby. She's all tucked up and snug Roast: Listen, I'm going to shoot off so er, you're alright looking after the baby? Cavegirl: 'Course I am...I'm all grown up Roast: Yea you are...So ummm...er I'm babysitting for a toddler tomorrow. Er, I, I don't suppose y.. Cavegirl: I'll see you there Roast: Excellent [Later, Cavegirl, wearing a chic outfit, passes the couple and Stiks on Stiks' very latest discovery] Stiks: New outfit? What are you doing, babysitting with Roast? Cavegirl: Yep Stiks: Oh. Well, I suppose I'd better say good luck Cavegirl: Fortunately it's got more to do with good legs than good luck [At the baby's cave] Roast: The baby's mum and dad've gone out...C'mon Cavegirl: I never thought to be alone together Nettle: You're not Cavegirl: What's she doing here? Roast: Waa, I invited her Cavegirl: Then what am I doing here? Nettle: He asked you to come babysitting Cavegirl: So? Nettle: So go and sit with the baby...she's back there Roast: More of a toddler really, real bawler. You're so good with kids Nettle: And I'd love to help you but I'm just going to be too busy kissing Roast Roast: I'm sorry Cavegirl...I just needed someone good with kids Cavegirl: Stuff this! [Cavegirl stomps off] Cavegirl: Toddler's crying!...Roast, Nettle, the toddler's crying [Little girl runs out of cave screaming] Nettle: Of course she's crying I kicked her Cavegirl: Look you can't kick a child Nettle: Well she kicked me first...Come here you little beast [Nettle, Cavegirl and Roast take chase while Big Sis points in the direction to go] [Chase continues] Nettle: Come here little cow, I'm going to get ???? Cavegirl: Leave her alone [Sound of echoing cries. They look around and find she's down a pit] Roast: Toddler? Girl: I'm really scared, it's scary ???? down here with ???? and a small ???? Roast: Great. Thanks Nettle, now we're in trouble Nettle: Not necessarily, I've got a great plan Cavegirl: What sort of plan? Nettle: A sort of running away plan Roast: That's not a plan Nettle: It's a good idea though. See yer [Nettle runs back to the village] Roast: Nettle!..Nettle Roast: (to Cavegirl) Climb down and save her Cavegirl: Er Roast: You've done it before Cavegirl: No I haven't Roast: Yesterday you said you climbed down a pit, waded through rotting slime to risk your life and save the child Cavegirl: Oh that...yeh...umm...w.. [Roast kisses Cavegirl] Roast: Please? [Nettle reaches the village. The couple with Stiks are trying out Stiks' new discovery, and it's going really fast down the hill] Nettle: (blood-curdling scream)....err...You've done my leg Lady: Where were you going in such a rush? Nettle: There's a kid down a pit and I didn't want to get into trouble Man: What do you mean there's a kid down a pit? Nettle: I was trying to get away Lady: Who is this kid? [Nettle points at the cave where they were babysitting] Lady: Oh no! [As the couple arrive at the pit, Cavegirl is climbing out with the toddler] Lady: Ah, thank you...thank you sooo much [Lady picks up her child, man picks up Cavegirl and twirls her] Man: I just want to hug you Cavegirl: Whooa Roast: Oi...oi, oi, oi. Getting a bit old for that aren't you? Hugging and kissing is a young man's game [Later as sun goes down, Cavegirl walking with Roast] Cavegirl: (to herself) Mum's well-impressed. Everyone says I'm great with babies. They all want me to babysit for them, which is excellent. First babysitting job and Roast has decided to come with me Nettle's Mum: Thank you so much for this, she's had a terrible accident with a new discovery. She's a bit shaky on her legs so it's just a case of keeping an eye...but your mum says you're good at stuff like that Nettle's Mum: (to Nettle) You be a good girl Nettle. 'Cause your mummy loves loves loves you so so much (kisses Nettle) Nettle: Mum! Nettle's Mum: Ha ha, sweet. She'll always be mummy's little girl. See yer Cavegirl: (enjoying the situtuation) New discovery, shocking. Anyway, I'm here to take care of you after your nasty accident...Seeing that you don't come to any more harm [Cavegirl, Roast and Nettle are on the new discovery being pushed rapidly downhill by two others. Cavegirl and Roast jump off] Cavegirl: Have a nice trip! Nettle: (blood-curdling scream) Cavegirl: Don't break the other leg |
last updated Jan 7th 06
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