Cavegirl: I hate coming home to an empty cave. I wish I had a cavemate.



[Unidentified girl painting on an animal skin]

Mystery Girl: I love him, I love him, I love him so much. Giving him this picture is the only way I can let him know.

[She sneaks into cave where Roast and Trunk are sleeping and leaves painting. The boys awake and look at painting]

Trunk: I think someone fancies one of us



[Sludge and Nettle's cave]

Sludge: I'm worried, what if too many people show up?

Nettle: Impossible. We've got loads of space. Why do you think I moved in with you?

Sludge: Well, because you like me

Nettle: Think again. The deal was, you supply the cave and I supply the fun



[Cavegirl heads to party]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Nettle and Sludge's party. That'll be a great place to find girls...I want to have a cavemate who loves a bit of fun...Can't just be anyone. It's got to be a really good friend.

Roast: You er, worked out who it is yet?

Trunk: Not yet

[Roast pulls painting from Trunk's jacket]

Roast: Give it here, I'll sort it out

Cavegirl: (to herself) Right, lets see who is having fun

Stiks: (to Trunk) What's this?

Trunk: Well, well someone left a picture of me and a beautiful girl outside our cave last night

Roast: Me and a beautiful girl...trying to work out who it is

Trunk: Well whoever it is, she obviously fancies me

Roast: Or me

Cavegirl: (to herself, looking at one dancing girl) I could ask her to live with me

Stiks: (to Roast) Could be her?

Cavegirl: (to herself, looking at another dancing girl) Or her

Stiks: (to Roast) Or her

Cavegirl: (to herself, looking at another dancing girl) Or her

Stiks: (to Roast) Maybe her

Trunk: Could be Big Sis, she's always fancied me

[Dirty look from Big Sis]

Trunk: Er, maybe not

Cavegirl: (to herself) What about Nettle? She's a good friend. She's always having a laugh. She's always with boys. Don't be stupid Cavegirl, she lives with Sludge

Sludge: Nettle, people are making too much noise

Nettle: Yeah it's a party

Sludge: Oh but Nettle

Nettle: Shut up

Sludge: Don't tell me to shut up. This is our cave

Nettle: Shut up and go away

Sludge: Ay, excuse me, sorry

[Sludge barges past Nettle]

Cavegirl: (to herself) I don't think sorry's good enough. They obviously hate each other. Excellent

[Sludge sees one girl over-indulging the food]

Sludge: I've only prepared one per person

Girl: Yeah well I'm having two

Sludge: No no but I've only prepared one per person

Girl: Shut up

Sludge: Oh Nettle...Nettle, they're eating all the food

Nettle: It's a party, they're supposed to eat the food

Sludge: But I only made one per person

Nettle: You are always moaning. I'm sick of your constant whining...I'm going to find a new roommate

Cavegirl: (to herself) Opportunity knocks

Cavegirl: Nettle, you can move in, with me

Nettle: Really? Oh excellent

Cavegirl: You should have had a 'no whining' pact

Nettle: How do you mean?

Cavegirl: Whoever whines forfeits the cave and has to move out...It's sealed with a special handshake

Nettle: Aaaah

[They spit on their hands and shake]



[The mystery girl leaves another picture]

Roast: Mystery girl's been round again...she's drawn us snogging

Trunk: We've never snogged

Roast: Not you and me, me and the mystery girl



[Cavegirl's cave, Nettle scraping her legs, Cavegirl doing chores]

Nettle: When you've cooked the food I want you to clear the dancing area. I want to put the singer over by that big rock...Haven't you cleaned the wee wee pot yet?

Cavegirl: No, sorry Nettle, I haven't cleaned the wee wee pot yet

[Roast and Trunk hidden a short distance away overhear the conversation, Roast sniggers]

Roast: Nettle said "wee wee"

Trunk: I think the girl in the picture's Cavegirl

Roast: I bet it's Nettle. She's always had a bit of a thing for me

Trunk: I reckon that Cavegirl's after my bod

Cavegirl: (to herself) I can't believe it, Nettle's so lazy

Cavegirl: Aren't you going to help?

Nettle: Getting myself ready to wow some gorgeous boys

Cavegirl: Do I have to clean this?

Nettle: Whining are you?

Cavegirl: Who me? No way, I'm not Sludge

Cavegirl: (to herself) Let's hope our cave-warming party will chill her out



[Party time]

Trunk: Is it her?

Roast: Could be her...What about her?

Trunk: It's her?

Roast: Her

Trunk: Her

Cavegirl: What are you doing?

Trunk: Well, I'm trying to work out who my secret admirer is

Roast: My secret admirer

Trunk: Alright, one of us has got a secret admirer

Cavegirl: Don't look at me

Nettle: Cavegirl, 'supposed to be doing the drinks. If you want a successful party you're going to have to start working at it

Trunk: Well maybe it's not Cavegirl then

Roast: I told you it's Nettle

Trunk: Yeah but how are we going to find out

Roast: Tomorrow morning we get a net, we wait for her, and we pounce on her

Cavegirl: (to herself) I think I hate Nettle. It's amazing. You don't really know your friends until you live with them



[Later]

Nettle: I told you to do the drinks

Cavegirl: I've done the drinks

Nettle: Well, go do the food

Cavegirl: Oooh, fed up doing what you tell me

Nettle: Ooooh, you sound exactly like Sludge...And you've obviously forgotten the rules. According to our pact, whoever whines forfeits the cave

Cavegirl: Stuff you

Nettle: No, stuff you. You're out of here



[Cavegirl sat in village]

Sludge: Had a row with Nettle?

Cavegirl: Worse. I whined. I broke our pact. Now my cave belongs to her. No place to live

Sludge: Move in with me. It'll be great fun

Cavegirl: (to herself) Move in with Sludge? No way. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I've got a great plan

Cavegirl: Excellent. I'd love to

Sludge: Brilliant

Cavegirl: Let's make it official with a pact

Sludge: OK

Cavegirl: Whoever whines forfeits the cave and has to move out...sealed with a special handshake...like this

[Cavegirl spits into her hand]

Cavegirl: The spit handshake no whining pact

[Cavegirl crosses her finger behind her back]

Sludge: Ooo I really don't want to do the spitting bit

Cavegirl: No whining remember

Sludge: Sorry



[Trunk and Roast lay in wait at their cave]

Trunk: She's bound to be back

Roast: Aw and we'll be ready

[Mystery girl leaves painting behind them]



[Cavegirl's old cave]

Nettle: What are you doing here?

Cavegirl: Come back to get my things. I'm moving in with Sludge

Nettle: Suit yourself



[Sludge's cave]

Sludge: Want to have a party announcing we're roommates?

Cavegirl: Excellent. I know where we can get a good singer

Sludge: Leave everything to me

Cavegirl: Unpack my stuff first

Sludge: Like I said, leave everything to me

Cavegirl: (to herself) Leave everything to me. Just what I hoped she'd say. My plan is firmly on track


[Roast and Trunk with net chase after mystery girl]



[Sludge's cave]

Sludge: Are you going to give me some help getting ready for the party?

Cavegirl: No! I'm scraping my legs

Sludge: I could really do with some help getting ready for the party

Cavegirl: I'm getting ready to wow some gorgeous boys

Cavegirl: (to herself) That's it Sludge, keep moaning

[Roast and Trunk's chase continues]

Sludge: I've got fifteen roasting hogs out here. Are you going to help?

Cavegirl: Shouldn't think so

Cavegirl: (to herself) OK Sludge, time to stop moaning and start whining

Sludge: Cavegirl, I don't mean to whine, but how do you expect me to throw a party if you won't help. Cavegirl!

Cavegirl: But you are whining. Gotcha

Sludge: But you forced me to

Cavegirl: Too bad. You broke the pact...You're...out of here

Sludge: Cavegirl, you can't do that

[Cavegirl pushes her out]



[Nettle comes across Sludge]

Nettle: What now?

Sludge: Got to ask Mum and Dad if I can move back home

Nettle: But you've got your own place with Cavegirl

Sludge: It belongs to her now. I broke our pact

Nettle: Ooooh. Perfect



[Cavegirl in Sludge's old cave]

Cavegirl: (to herself) Nettle's so predictable. Shouldn't be long now. Five, four, three, two, one...right on cue

Cavegirl: So you spoke with Sludge

Nettle: Heard this cave is yours

Cavegirl: Spit it out Nettle

Nettle: Let's do a swap

Cavegirl: Good idea

Cavegirl: (to herself) The plan's working perfectly...now for my final revenge...all I've got to do is find Sludge



[Cavegirl sees Sludge sat against rock]

Cavegirl: Sludge! You can go back home now

Sludge: I am going back home, back to my parents

Cavegirl: No, back to your cave

Sludge: But you kicked me out

Cavegirl: When we made our pact, I was slightly devious.

Sludge: How so?

Cavegirl: I secretly crossed my fingers, which meant the pact isn't really a pact

Sludge: So you didn't have the right to throw me out?

Cavegirl: Nor the right to give your cave to Nettle

Sludge: So it still belongs to me

Cavegirl: Imagine the look on Nettle's face when she finds out

Sludge: Oh you're a great friend



[Roast and Trunk run by chasing mystery girl. They catch her in the net]

Roast: It's you

Mystery Girl: I love you Trunk

Trunk: See. Told you so

Roast: Oh well fine. Stuff this then

Trunk: Do you really really really love me?

[Mystery girl nods, sound of Nettle screaming in the distance]



[Sludge's cave]

Nettle: Noooooo

Sludge: ...And if I want to whine, I'll whine



Trunk: This is going to be really good...I could tell Roast to move out and you could move in with me

Both singing in bad timing and pitch: You say...

[It's so awful they stop]

Both singing in bad timing and pitch: You say...

[Mystery girl runs away]

Trunk: But I'm a really good drummer...



Cavegirl: (to herself) Yes, I'm going home to an empty cave. Excellent